I am going to readily admit I am rubbish at doing enough for me. I obviously tell people to do it as I've been a massage therapist for almost 9 years but I do not practice what I preach. Before children I did I loved getting massages more than anything but once my boys came along it steadily declined. Priorities change and my self care had to change. Now I get a massage maybe every 3 months...eek feel ashamed to admit that! BUT my husband does give me massages as he is also a massage therapist and I massage him too so even though it's not as relaxing as we chat it still counts in my books.
What do I do for self care now I have children? Alone time. For me just having some peace and quiet alone, not cleaning the house, is pure bliss. At the moment Love Island, yes I said it, is my zoning out time where no one can disturb me and I completely shut off and have a laugh. Every 3-4 weeks I get a pedicure which is so lovely and that's one hour of pampering I can do and not have a heart attack over the price. But at the moment my biggest self care hobby is exercise. After our second was born he ruined my body. He was so big, 10.10lbs, and I felt so hungry pregnant and breastfeeding that I just couldn't shift the weight and I put a lot on. When I stopped breastfeeding when he was 15 months old (he is now 22 months old) I finally got my fitness bug back on. I don't go to classes where the kids come along it would just stress me out and defeats the purpose in my eyes. I go for one hour and I completely focus and get my A game on and I LOVE it. It's not selfish. It's what I need.
So find that "thing" that gives you the self care you need. No matter what it is just find that time, consume yourself in it and enjoy it. No matter how small or big, it will give you the time that you need to be the best you can be and when you have small people to look after you need to be at your best.
#self care #toolsforlife #setanexample #findyourthing #antenatalteacher #positivecoach #positivebirthcoach #realistic #enjoylife #supporteachother #mumssupportingmums #hypnobirthing #parenthood #azeetanielsenpreandpostnatal #azeetanielsen
This is such a good question and an impossible one to answer but lets give it a little go. First thing I always say is have a really good birth preference; NOT BIRTH PLAN. Just an A4 sheet and make two copies so you can slot one into the front of your antenatal folder and keep a second one for if there is a midwife shift change. If you have a really good birth preference sheet you can simply go through it in depth with your antenatal teacher, hypnobirthing teacher, doula or midwife for all your options and to help you make some informed choices. It also makes birth realistic and you can have key discussions in place so you can be educated and not shocked if birth doesn't go to "plan".
If you aren't getting the supportive care you envisioned then seek out some antenatal support with a teacher you bond with. It is amazing we have the NHS in this country but they do not have the resources to give us the one to one care you would get privately. But one to one care can be invaluable in some form or the other. If you want someone at your birth then a doula is a fantastic route to go. You can have two birth partners remember! Also don't forget you can have a postnatal doula as well; do not undervalue how much emotional and physical help you might need post-birth. Hypnobirthing teachers not only teach you hypnosis for your pregnancy and birth but also teach you quite an in depth into what you also learn at other antenatal courses such as the NCT. Not as thorough but still invaluable and you could also see if they will be at your birth!
Pick an antenatal class. Whether it be at the hospital through the NHS or an NCT class pick one. I had a client recently who said she just avoided all the classes and thought ignorance was bliss but this was far from the truth. She had a really traumatic birth and regrets not doing an antenatal class which is such a shame. But she is pregnant again and on the ball this time, yay.
Positive energy. May sound silly but just being positive can do wonders for you. The big question I get from clients is "What is your biggest tip for when in labour?". My answer is "Don't get caught up in the moment but think ahead as this process means your baby is finally on the way". It's easy to get flustered and dread a contraction coming on but what if instead of this you focus on how many breaths you could do in one contraction? It will then fly by. Learn the positive energy and relaxation tools for coping and be open to your labour moving in different directions. But make sure whoever is looking after you in labour keeps you informed, part of the process and has your best interests at heart.
Birth is a big journey. Just look forward to it :)